MondayBlues: Loyalty Above All Else

Recently, I had my annual medical checkup. When the results came in, a few irregularities in my blood work caught my attention, prompting a follow-up discussion with my doctor. I’m alright—no imminent danger to my health.

During my consultation, I received not just medical advice but also a priceless lesson from the doctor. As I sat there, waiting for him to review my blood work, I noticed him absentmindedly playing with a ring on his finger. Curiosity got the better of me, and I asked how long he had been married.

He smiled and said, "I got married in 1988," which I quickly calculated to be 32 years. Curious, I probed further, "What made you and your partner last this long in a commitment?"

His chair squeeked as he leaned back, he stopped looking at the screen and said, “There are three key values: loyalty, intention, and the acceptance that it's not going to be easy”!. These words struck a chord with me, aligning with my own recent readings and thoughts. I nodded eagerly, hoping he would elaborate.

"Loyalty," he explained, "implies a steadfast faithfulness, even when faced with temptations to renounce, desert, or betray." He emphasized how important it is to stand by your partner through the tough and the good times. He highlighted how from the minor details like how in all those years he had not talked badly about his partner behind her back or allowing others to do so in his presence. "Keeping your word is a great action of loyalty," he added

Intrigued by his emphasis on intention, I asked, "What do you mean by intention?" He laughed and shared a story: "When I met my now wife, she was dating someone else. Years later, after we got married, she told me the reason she chose me over the other guy was because I was intentional. He made it clear he wanted to be with her, visiting and planning their time together deliberately. He didn't wait for the perfect moment; he created it.

Reflecting on his words, I realized how often I had drifted through situations without clear intentions, letting things "flow." Intentionality was something I was incorporating more into my life.

I then asked him about the easy part. He explained, "The reason most of my friends and family haven’t lasted as long as we have is that they thought it was going to be easy.” They believed love should be effortless. "There will be moments of doubt and problems," he said. "But expecting it to be easy sets you up for disappointment."

I left that appointment maybe not physically healthy but mentally was left pondering about the wise doctor.

To recap:

• Loyalty: This is a cornerstone of healthy long-term relationships. It’s an action, not just a feeling. Honesty is the foundation of loyalty. A truly loyal partner will tell you the truth, even if it’s uncomfortable in the short term.

• Intention: Being intentional means actively showing your partner you want to be with them. It involves planning and deliberate actions rather than waiting for the right moment.

• Effort: Anything worthwhile requires effort and dedication. Relationships aren’t easy, and understanding this prepares you for the challenges ahead.