SaturdayReflections: Friends For Life

Friendships, much like the seasons, transform as we navigate the various chapters of our lives. These relationships can be as unpredictable as they are rewarding, with some enduring the test of time and others fading away, often unexpectedly. I have always been quality over quantity when it comes to people around me, cherishing both the heartbreak of losing close friends and the privilege of friends who have survived the seasons.

In childhood, friendships are formed in the simple acts of play and shared experiences. These bonds, often formed over toys and games, are intense but can be transient as interests shift and educational paths diverge. As we enter adolescence, the friendships we form start to feel eternal. We share secrets, dreams, and many firsts. However, as adolescence turns to young adulthood, geographical moves, career choices, and evolving personal values can strain even the strongest bonds.

This is the stage where many face the harsh reality that some friends, whom we once envisioned as lifelong companions, may no longer accompany us on our journey. It is usually a painful acknowledgment that your friend has become toxic or no longer shares the same values and beliefs. During the pandemic, we saw many friendships bite the dust due to COVID-related conflicts on mask-wearing and vaccinations, and after it ended, there was still lingering resentment and hurt. Friendships and family relations that were put on the backburner never to come off—the post-pandemic fallout.

Conversely, it is also during this period of change that the most unexpected friendships can solidify. These might be relationships that started casually—colleagues from a part-time job, acquaintances from early college days, or neighbors from your first out-of-home apartment. Over time, these friends gradually become the ones who check up on you, offer a shoulder to lean on during hard times, and celebrate your successes as if they were their own.

As adults, the criteria for friendships often shift towards seeking those who share similar life situations and values, rather than just common interests or backgrounds. Friendships in adulthood are often marked by quality over quantity, with an emphasis on depth and mutual respect.

Don’t get me wrong, you should not throw away friends just because life veers us in different directions, most people have what is called convenience friendship(lasts as long as it is convenient for one or both people). True friendship withstands the trials of life, thriving on unconditional support and mutual effort, much like a marriage. It demands we step beyond our egos and invest actively. Often, it's the friends you least expected who stick around, diligently nurturing the bond you may have taken for granted, while those 'effortless' connections wither without the necessary care.

In the golden years of life, friendships often revolve around companionship and shared understanding of life’s experiences. The friends who remain are those who have witnessed the many phases of life alongside you and have grown alongside you in wisdom and grace.

The journey of friendship is a vivid tapestry of human connection. It teaches us that while we may lose friends we thought would be with us forever, we gain others who surprise us by filling our lives with love and support when we least expect it. As we grow and change, so too do our friendships.